Monday, July 23, 2007

Happy Birthday, Big Fella!

Yesterday, our friend and fellow contributor Kris joined the ranks of people in their 30s.

To honor him, I've created the script for a Kris montage. While imagining all of these scenes, be listening to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fWvub_WBho Or just picture Kris as Daniel LaRusso.


Play song now.

Scene 1: Kris as a young child, horseplay with older brothers. Keith and Kyle beat him terribly. Kris cries. Keith and Kyle high-five.

Scene 2: Kris as a ten-year old, in a suit, attending church. He makes a joke. His father smacks him on the back of the head.

Scene 3: Kris as thirteen year old, asleep in Mr. Rosales' English class. Dan wakes him up.

Scene 4: Kris drinking iced tea.

Scene 5: Kris and the old crew playing basketball in the back yard of his parent's house.

Scene 6: Kris and the old crew playing hockey on Sherman Ave. See them pause game to let car go by. Then see game resume. Then see Josh and Dan drop gloves and fight.

Scene 7: Kris drinking iced tea, eating a large sandwich.

Scene 8: Kris, Dan, Josh, Mr. D, Nick, Mrs. D, all watching football in the living room.

Scene 9: A picture of Kris from that time when he shaved only the front part of his head so he looked like he was bald.

Pause song.

Scene 10: Kris with Dan, Greg, Jay, etc. at bird sanctuary. Kris says, "You guys, you guys. Good news. I didn't shit my pants!"

Resume song.

Scene 11: Kris in Pennsylvania at York College. Montage-within-a-montage of college shenanigans scenes.

Scene 12: Kris eating a slice of pizza.

Scene 13: Kris in Kentucky, looking lovingly at Tubby Smith.

Scene 14: Kris in South Carolina, looking lovingly at Renaldo Balkman.

Scene 15: Kris, Dan, and Martin all in South Carolina. All look slightly confused.

Scene 16: A photo-timeline of Kris' face, from a baby through the present day.

Scene 17: Title screen reads: Happy 30th, Kris!

Song fades out.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I hope you had a good one Kris...I think I'm going to curl in a ball and suck my thumb when my day comes...I hate getting old. By the way, I think you need to add the time when Mr. D chased Kris around the house and proceeded to beat him in front of everyone. The best part is I don't think the basketball game stopped for a second during the entire ordeal.