G-Men are nothing to be thankful for

I meant to write this Sunday night, when I realized exactly what had happened.

That the team I have loved for more than two decades, longer than I've respected my sister and with more passion than I feel for most of my so-called friends...they are a shell of what they were.

And the sad thing is I still expect them to finish this season at 10-6, which means a likely playoff spot and I have no desire for either of those things to happen. I'm not opening rooting for Denver on Turkey Day(Night), but I'm not cheering as loudly for the Boys in Blue.

And that's cuz I don't know who they are anymore.

It's pretty simple. I've lived all my life with a Giants team that does two things well, year in and year out. Whether good or bad, they run the ball and they play defense. That's been the staple, even with Ray Handley era.

(OK, looking back it wasn't like that during the Handley era. But they did have Rodney Hampton and the year after they fired the bum, Dan Reeves coached the top-ranked defense in the league and made the playoffs with an 11-5 record.)

The point is the staple was still founded in running the ball and playing killer defense. So this year should have been more of the same. Needless to say, it's not. We're suddenly a pass-first team that can't stop full backs off tackle.

It's a disturbing feeling and frustrating beyond belief. I write this with a lot less anger than before, but it could rise up easily. Thinking about the fact that a playoff spot could save the jobs of both coordinators...

OK, here's the problem with Kevin B. Gilbride. He's been our offensive coordinator for long enough that he should have figured out a way TO SCORE IN THE RED ZONE!!! I mean, it took him 27 games to realize that Kevin Boss is 6-foot-7, 255 pounds, catches passes and plays on the same team as your quarterback, Elisha Manning.

Seriously, if I see another run up the middle on a 2nd-and-goal from the 4-yard line I might beat up one of my daughters. This team made it's bread and butter going off-tackle, to the edges with pulling guards and counter plays. They are not and have never been a true power-football team. As big as Brandon Jacobs is, he's not great running in a straight line. Bradshaw is the better back for that straight bull-rush crap, but despite fans being able to see that live Gilbride can't see that on film.

The things that Dan Sheridan doesn't seem to see on film are mounting by the day. How long did it take to realize that C.C. Brown was not the answer at safety once Kenny Phillips went down? How many times is he going to blitz quick-release quarterbacks and leave his depleted and young secondary in confusing coverages? How many zone blitz packages with Justin Tuck guarding some back out of the backfield instead of rushing the passer, like it wasn't Kiwanuka who trained to play OLB? When does he realize that run blitzing without making sure the A and B gaps are covered ARE CRAZY? How many sad state running backs are going to gash us up the middle in between the tackles for huge yards, meaning not only were our linebackers out of position but the secondary was either in overpursuit or out of position due to poor planning? How many times are teams going to come out of halftime and drive right down the field on us?

Since the Saints debacle, the Giants have allowed all of their opponents to score in third quarter. That means that teams are going into the locker room, coming back with adjustments and finding the end zone. Why come we're not making adjustments to prevent that from happening?

I won't continue to harp on Sheridan, who clearly is overmatched as a coordinator and should be replaced. I won't take GM Jerry Reese to task on that because that's an internal decision. You should want to promote from within and keep it in the family. But the one thing I can get on him about is the kicking game.

(Are you serious? Are you really upset about that?)
To quote The Devil in "Bill & Ted's, Part II" - DAMN RIGHT!!!

Jeff Feagles is a Hall of Fame punter. He was a great directional punter and was great at pinning teams deep within their own 20 yard line for a long time. It seems that time has past. Either Tom Coughlin has little to no faith in our special teams coverage (with good reason) or Feagles has lost his touch but there are too many punts going out of bounds near midfield. That's why the Giants defense is 2nd in the league in yards allowed and 23rd in points. The old Giant teams under Parcells relied on field position and Feagles is not helping that cause.

And I think I need not mention Mr. Tynes. Yes, he was the kicker on the Super Bowl team. Yes, he was injured last year and probably shouldn't lose his job due to injury. Yes, Art Carney, he of Honeymooners fame, was a great kicker for us last year until we needed him in the playoffs and I wasn't critical of taking Tynes back this year. HOWEVER, he wasn't a great kicker in the Super Bowl season. Let's not forget how many kicks it took to beat Green Bay to reach Glendale, AZ. He's erratic on kickoffs with some flying out of the endzone and others barely reaching the 15-yard line. All of that leads to field position and teams starting drives on the 40 instead of the 20. It might not seem like much, but it's 2 first downs that an offense doesn't have to worry about...

My frustration level with this team has subsided immensely since the win over Atlanta. I'm sure those feeling will surface tonight and as the season progresses. Looking at the schedule, it's hard not to see 10-6. It's also pretty easy to see a complete breakdown and end up 7-9 or 8-8, which would be completely frustrating. It would also be par for the course for this season.

Here Come the Warm Jets: Week 10 2009

I just had a really enjoyable weekend.

On Friday night, we had a surprise party for my friend Gabe's 30th birthday. He was actually surprised! Then, later, some of our friends decided to race for some reason. As you might expect when inebriated 30+ guys start running in the street, someone took a spill and cut up his palms. That was hilarious. And bloody. And hilarious.

On Saturday, the weather was absolutely gorgeous in Chicago. It was 65 degrees or so. In November! I spent a large part of the day wandering around the Logan Square and Palmer Square neighborhood with a friend of mine and her dog, looking at interesting old houses. Later that night, I was in an improv show that went really well - good crowd, funny show, fun all around. After the show I went drinking with friends well into the wee hours of the morning. We closed down a 3am bar, and kept on going. And I even remember how I got home! Awesome.

So am I going to let another painfully awful Jets loss ruin it for me?

Nope.

Not even going to worry about it. Didn't expect them to win. Didn't expect them to hold on to the lead after they scored the late TD and missed the two pointer. Didn't expect them to play a complete game in all phases even after a bye week.

I expect good things out of the rest of my life. I tried to expect good things out of the Jets - but where does that ever get me? No more expectations.

It's supposed to be kind of a wash of a year anyway. Rookie head coach. Rookie QB. New defense. And, despite some signs to the contrary in the first few games, that is what we got. 7-9 or 8-8 is now likely. Fine. Whatever.

Just like I didn't let the Jags loss ruin last weekend, I'm not going to let the inevitable Pats ass stomp ruin my Thanksgiving week back home.

Go ahead, Jets, lose. Lose all the rest of the games this year. See if I care.

Here Come The Warm Jets: Week 8 2009

Warning - if you are sensitive to profanity, you're going to want to stop reading now.

I'm not kidding. There's going to be a lot of it. A lot.

I'll wait until you all leave.

(waits. pours drink. stirs slowly. takes sip. looks around. takes off glasses. cleans glasses. puts glasses back on. take another sip.)

Okay, now that all our fucking nancy readers have left:

Are you fucking kidding me? Did the Jets just fucking lose to Ted motherfucking Ginn motherfucking Jr.?

Ted fucking Ginn? Really? Fuck me. Fuck me in the face with a fucking giant fucking turkey leg. Fuck me in the ear with a fucking allen wrench. Fuck me sideways with a spiked bat.

I mean, come the fuck on.

The fucking defense plays out of their fucking minds. Fucked the Wildcat in it's Wildcat ass. The fucking offense played good enough to win. Not fucking great, mind you, but good the fuck enough.

But no, they have to go let motherfucking Ted Ginn run two kicks back for fucking scores. Not one, but fucking TWO.

This fucking team makes me fucking sick. I'm fucking glad they're going on a bye. They need to go the fuck away for a while and figure some shit out. And the whole team needs to shut the fuck up. Stop talking shit and start fucking winning.

While they figure out what the fuck they need to do start winning winnable fucking games, they need to leave me the fuck alone. My fucking stomach can't take much fucking more of this shit.

Fuck.