1) My Super Bowl preview: expect me to consume about six or seven beers, several hundred chips, plenty of guacamole, cheese, and numerous chicken bits dipped in sauce. Over/under on pieces of vegetables dipped in something: 15. Bet the over.
2) I'll also most likely be annoying the people at my party with talk of offensive line play (the key to this game.) Because there's nothing the casual football fan likes more than to hear a football nerd talk about blocking schemes.
3) I don't give a fuck about the commercials. They are commercials. Fuck commercials, and fuck the people that only watch the game to watch fucking TV commercials. They should choke on guacamole that they lick off the tip of my cock. And while I'm at it, fuck Jordin Sparks, and fuck Tom Petty, and all of the Heartbreakers, too.
4) Here's player 1: 19.6 points, 9.4 rebounds, 2.4 assists, PER 20.7, 47.8% from the field, team is 32-13.
Here's player 2: 15.7 points, 9.9 rebounds, 2.1 assists, PER 19.9, 52.1% from the field, team is 33-14.
Player 1 is the one that goes to the All-Star game, right? Exactly. Hardly an argument.
So congratulations to Teaneck's own David West for his first All-Star appearance. Sorry, Shawn Marion. You're good, but not quite as good this year.
5) Really, all I want out of this Super Bowl is a good game. It's the last football game until September. Let's make it competitive, okay? You hear me, Eli? Just make it fun to watch for four quarters.
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