It’s Time

FINALLY, THE NEW YORK GIANTS HAVE COME BACK………………………….TO GLENDALE!!!!!

Yes it is officially time to talk about the Super Bowl, the first week of meaningless hype is over and the second week of mostly overblown hype is past “media day” which is just a semi-organized circus. But soon the actually game will be upon us, well not that soon, we will have the interminably long pre game show followed by a concert and then a ten minute coin toss, and then finally the game.

Analyzing most football games is fairly easy and this one is n

********************NEWS BULLETIN*******************

Man in Madison Mississippi’s Head explodes due to his normally sucky sports franchises now at the tops of almost everything all at once. Martin Kester, a local sportswriter, was found by his wife in his car after his head had exploded all over the windshield. When questioned about the bizarre incident Ms. Kester could only say “I guess the Johan Santana deal just pushed him over the edge.”

Martin has been a lifelong New York Mets and New York Giants fan, since his days growing up in the New York suburb of Teaneck New Jersey. His youthful days were spent dreaming of being Carl Banks or Wally Backman, he was never one to root for the team’s star player. Soon realizing that his chances of playing professional athletics were slim Martin changed his focus to becoming a sports writer. Around this time he discovered the Georgetown Hoyas and a little man named Allen Iverson, Kester again was in love.

So it was to be for Martin, the Metropolitans, the Hoyas and his beloved Mets. Over the past ten years each team has enjoyed some success but things like the Craig Esherick and Curt Warner era’s happened. Of course this past fall things almost came to a tragic end for Martin when the Mets completed the biggest late season collapse in baseball history.

“Yeah, that was a rough stretch,” Ms. Kester explains. “I found him one morning in the backyard burning his 1986 “Let’s go Mets” video and trying to cut his wrists with a ballpoint pen screaming, Oh why won’t the curse of Steve Phillips go away.”

But this winter things began to look up for young Martin, the Giants were rounding into shape the Hoyas were playing like a Final Four contender. As those cold December nights turned into January the legend of Eli grew with each playoff victory and the Hoyas began conference play. Eli eventually leading his team to the Super Bowl and Patrick Ewing jr. evoking memories of his father blocked a last second shot securing a huge conference road victory for the Hoyas as they sprint to a 6-1 start in Big East play.

Then came the news earlier this week that the Johan Santana sweepstakes was back on. Presumably as it had been all along the Sawx and Yankees battling it out for who would reap the benefits of this monumentally stupid move by the Twins. But in the 11th hour like the Lone Ranger atop Silver in came Omar Minaya atop his horse Pedro (yes that was a bad ethnic joke) to save the day for Metropolitan fans everywhere.

Unfortunately for Martin Kester he will not be able to enjoy the fruits of any of his teams, it seems it was just too much for one man to handle.

Martin Kester, friend, husband, father and Metropolitan to the end.





In an actual anecdote about the Santana trade; myself and one of the Mets prospects involved in the deal, Deolis Guerra, actually have carnal knowledge of the same girl.