It's one of my favorite shows from the late 1990's into the new century, mostly because the central character in the ensemble cast was played flawlessly by Topher Grace.
So why not look back on each of the MLB Divisions with movie pitches staring Mr. Grace...
(Stick with me on this, there may be a point or two worth reading)
AL East: Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil
The Yankees won't hear anything about the age of their team, don't want to hear that Melky Cabrera (.241 average) and Robinson Cano (.246) won't bounce back and produce in the second half, don't want to hear that they won't go far without Chien-Ming Wang (despite his 4.07 ERA before he forgot how to run the bases.) or that they should have moved Phillip Hughes or Ian Kennedy for Johan Santana last summer.
However the Rays will hear plenty. They'll hear about how they haven't seen pressure like these last few months will entail. How they won't be able to see the Red Sox in the distance after losing seven straight headed into the All-Star break and how their pitching staff, currently ranked third in the league with a 3.79 ERA, hasn't seen the mound in a pennant chase.
However they'll speak the company line, detailed so well by Crash Davis in Bull Durham. They'll speak about respecting the Red Sox and their history and they should because until the end of September, there's only one defending World Series champion to speak of and that's Red Sox Nation. It's within that nation that our hero, Topher Grace will play the role of J.D. Drew, who was killed by those wonderful fans in Philly for not signing with their no-account franchise before solid seasons as a Cardinal. Then to Atlanta for a breakout year (.305, 31 HR, 93 RBI) before a couple of seasons in LA.
These are all flash sequences, leading to Drew (Grace) answering the phone and talking with Theo Epstein about coming to Fenway. We follow Drew through a rough first season, one that sees fans still finding ways to hate him despite the team's success.
He spends the off-season dating a book worm, played by Kate Beckinsale, who gets him to release his inner-tension and through their love, he explodes in 2008, leading the Sox to another division title when the film fades to black.
2 comments:
First of all don't just throw some skid marks in there about the Yankees just because your suck-ass teams has failed to live up to expectations for going on three seasons now. And please dont point to yor current lame winning streak, that will soon go the way of the Dodo bird.
Anyway, you are right, Melky will continue to struggle. However, I don't believe Cano will when you consider the last three seasons he has hit .303, .365, and .343 after the break, nothing indicates that this trend will not continue.
And no the Yankees shouldnt have moved Kennedy or Hughes in the off-season for Santana. Not that Johan isnt the man, but eventually the Yankees need to remember that part of what made them great in the 90's was the infusion of top flight home grown talent while adding the right free agents, not just any free agents. Remember they had Jeter, Pettitte, Rivera, Bernie and Posada. Hughes is 21 years old, damn in my book he still has three or four more chances to prove himself before we try and jettison him.
Speaking of goings on at the House that Ruth built, how about that fucking show last night. This is why I need to be the commisioner of all sports, not just because of my retirement clause as put forth yesterday. But, last night as the Josh Hamilton show in the first round was winding down I turned to my friend Andrew and said, if Bud Selig had any testicles he would walk up when Hamilton was done and automatically declare him the winner of the HR derby. I don't care what the rules say, it is a made up fucking contest anyway. Do you think one single person in that stadium or at home watching would have been upset if they just declared him the winner right there after a 28 HR first round performance? I know I would have gotten to bed a whole heck of a lot sonner.
Let me bash my own team my own way.
If you had traded for Santana, they would be better and yes, the same way we waited around for Pelfrey to finally pitch well, the same should and will likely be said about your duo...
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