Yeah, I know I havent been around much lately. Usually my summers are filled with trips to the beach and lots of golf, but a new coaching staff has squashed all that nonsense. This has been perhaps the busiest summer of my life, and it only promises to get more so as we lead into the fall.
I will be taking my many talents, including my unwavering patriotism and complete hatred for all foreigners, across the pond to our sister continent, Europe. I will be traveling with the University of South Carolina mens basketball team over to the Czech Republic, Slovakia and Austria. As always, I will be representing my basketabll team and my university as I go on this trip. Moreover, I will be representing the great DeBlasio family name, the town of Teaneck where I was reared, the great state of New Jersey which mad me the jaded soul I am today and the country of America (the self proclaimed, a proclaimaition I happen to agree with, greatest nation on the planet).
I plan to do this in pure George W. fashion, by making fun of things I don't understand, not caring when I pronounce foreigners names wrong and generally being an obnoxious American. Wish me luck, and lets hope I dont create and international incident.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Album review: Nas - (Untitled)
This is a response to an email from a friend about Nas's new album. I wrote my review below, then read this from XXL, the LA Times and the only review I actually agree with...
Anyway, read on for my humble thoughts on an album I heard about, awaited and was both disappointed and surprised.
I don't listen to ask much hip hop anymore either. As an art form, it's almost pushing its older generation of fans away with what passes for what is considered the best.
I mean, people who listened to The Who and the Rolling Stones may not have liked Aerosmith and Van Halen, but there were similarities. There is nothing similar between KRS-One and Rakim and T-Pain and Young Jeezy, expect they're each on top of the game.
Nas' album isn't like the rest of the stuff out now, so I don't see how its going to sell. The controversy around the title of the album can only push record sales for so long...
Then again, if fans like you and I get the album and listen, maybe we'll come back. Probably not, but it's worth a try.
Let's see. Lyrically speaking, Nas is, has been and will always be one of the greatest of all time. There's no denying that and the concepts on some of the tracks are absolutely classic. "Fried Chicken" with Busta Rhymes, about how we love the food that's going to kill us, and "Project Roach", about the insect that stays alive just like the people described by the word I've left out of this review on purpose.
He could be considered "preachy" on this album, especially on "We're not alone" where he's basically saying that aliens exist and have been to Earth, but it's a touch refreshing to have someone saying something on a song that isn't just about money, drugs and hoes.
"Black President" is about the obvious, but then again who else is out there rapping about Obama. Granted, he's using a 2Pac cut that says "Although it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready to have a black president", but he clearly puts his weight behind the Democratic representative, however much any rapper that dropped in the early 90s has with a young voting public that probably was in diapers when Illmatic dropped.
It's an album that needed to be made. It's refreshing, but still a hard listen as it seems sometimes the topics, production and the occasional track like "Make the World Go Round" just doesn't fit. I'm proud to add it to my collection, but I wonder how many tracks from it I'll be listening to months from now...
----------------
Now playing: Nas - Make The World Go Round (feat. Chris Brown And The Game)
via FoxyTunes
Anyway, read on for my humble thoughts on an album I heard about, awaited and was both disappointed and surprised.
I don't listen to ask much hip hop anymore either. As an art form, it's almost pushing its older generation of fans away with what passes for what is considered the best.
I mean, people who listened to The Who and the Rolling Stones may not have liked Aerosmith and Van Halen, but there were similarities. There is nothing similar between KRS-One and Rakim and T-Pain and Young Jeezy, expect they're each on top of the game.
Nas' album isn't like the rest of the stuff out now, so I don't see how its going to sell. The controversy around the title of the album can only push record sales for so long...
Then again, if fans like you and I get the album and listen, maybe we'll come back. Probably not, but it's worth a try.
Let's see. Lyrically speaking, Nas is, has been and will always be one of the greatest of all time. There's no denying that and the concepts on some of the tracks are absolutely classic. "Fried Chicken" with Busta Rhymes, about how we love the food that's going to kill us, and "Project Roach", about the insect that stays alive just like the people described by the word I've left out of this review on purpose.
He could be considered "preachy" on this album, especially on "We're not alone" where he's basically saying that aliens exist and have been to Earth, but it's a touch refreshing to have someone saying something on a song that isn't just about money, drugs and hoes.
"Black President" is about the obvious, but then again who else is out there rapping about Obama. Granted, he's using a 2Pac cut that says "Although it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready to have a black president", but he clearly puts his weight behind the Democratic representative, however much any rapper that dropped in the early 90s has with a young voting public that probably was in diapers when Illmatic dropped.
It's an album that needed to be made. It's refreshing, but still a hard listen as it seems sometimes the topics, production and the occasional track like "Make the World Go Round" just doesn't fit. I'm proud to add it to my collection, but I wonder how many tracks from it I'll be listening to months from now...
----------------
Now playing: Nas - Make The World Go Round (feat. Chris Brown And The Game)
via FoxyTunes
Monday, July 28, 2008
A Somewhat Sad, But Still Somewhat Hopeful Day
Renaldo Balkman's unlikely career with the New York Knicks is over.
The Knicks traded Balkman to the Nuggets for a second-round pick in 2010, along with Taurean Green and Bobby Jones, both of whom are expected to be released since neither has a guaranteed contract.
Like most Knicks fans, I like Balkman's energy and the flashes of potential he shows. But I also recognize that this was not the most intelligent of basketball players, and that it didn't seem like he had the mental makeup to be the kind of 20-minute-per-game energy guy he is destined to be.
Sorry to see him go, but the move makes some business sense for the Knicks. They needed to shed some guaranteed contracts (more of these types of moves to come) and this way they actually get something (the draft pick and cash considerations) out of it.
And, hey, maybe this move to Denver, in what was basically a salary dump, will finally get Balkman's mind focused on basketball, and he can turn his potential into an actual NBA career. Sometimes a young man has his head up his ass, so if he gets kicked hard enough in said ass, he begins to finally see clearly, or at least takes his head out of there long enough to see who kicked him.
Or maybe Balkman starts hanging out with JR Smith and robs a Dollar Tree wearing a Dick Cheney mask and a Zach Randolph Trailblazers jersey. Anything is possible.
The Knicks traded Balkman to the Nuggets for a second-round pick in 2010, along with Taurean Green and Bobby Jones, both of whom are expected to be released since neither has a guaranteed contract.
Like most Knicks fans, I like Balkman's energy and the flashes of potential he shows. But I also recognize that this was not the most intelligent of basketball players, and that it didn't seem like he had the mental makeup to be the kind of 20-minute-per-game energy guy he is destined to be.
Sorry to see him go, but the move makes some business sense for the Knicks. They needed to shed some guaranteed contracts (more of these types of moves to come) and this way they actually get something (the draft pick and cash considerations) out of it.
And, hey, maybe this move to Denver, in what was basically a salary dump, will finally get Balkman's mind focused on basketball, and he can turn his potential into an actual NBA career. Sometimes a young man has his head up his ass, so if he gets kicked hard enough in said ass, he begins to finally see clearly, or at least takes his head out of there long enough to see who kicked him.
Or maybe Balkman starts hanging out with JR Smith and robs a Dollar Tree wearing a Dick Cheney mask and a Zach Randolph Trailblazers jersey. Anything is possible.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Album review: Skillz - The Million Dollar Backpack
This is a response to an email I received from a friend, informing me about an interview with the aformentioned Skillz.
Skillz first appeared on the scene as Mad Skillz, a new voice from Virginia with an album that dropped 12 years ago. "The Nod Factor" and a couple other tracks like "Extra Abstract Skillz" which featured Q-Tip. It's easily one of the best albums during a golden era in hip hop, what with "Reasonable Doubt" out around the same time.
Nevertheless, losers like me kept an ear out for Skillz and I can remember being on a bus in Cancun with some overgrown athletic women (Kris, you were there in spirit), listening to The Best of the Superfriends mixtape.
Long story short, here's a quick review. I've got a couple more in the vault on the way with my thoughts on Nas's Untitled album next.
I've heard the album and while it's got a couple of quality tracks, overall it almost seems like a personal album, showcasing Skillz ability to use a variety of styles. I don't know what kind of album I would have wanted or expected from him, but I just made a mix with songs from Skillz, The Carter III and Untitled. There are a bunch of Skillz tracks, but not as many as I would have originally thought and they were the first to go when I had to cut tracks off...
That being said, there are times when I listen and hear the voice that I enjoy. But it's weird hearing Hip Hop Died again, a song I feel like I heard a year ago. For the most part, I like the concept songs, but the somewhat negative review on the second site you sent has a touch of truth behind it.
He name-drops all over the place and you have to imagine that Jeezy is someone he ghostwrote for and My Phone, which is all these celebs that he's gotten phone numbers from. The catch being that he loses the phone at the end.
Sick is the only track that sounds like the old Skillz, which I guess is part of getting older. I like that track, but one could argue it's more name-dropping (Lines like I was sick back when Big Boi and 3000 were the best of friends), but it's more about the flow with me. He slows it down a couple too many times and that's just not great...
Preaching to the Choir, a story track, is a breath of fresh air but if he's dropping So Far, So Good as the first track then I don't know what to say cuz that's one of my least favorite tracks on the 14-song effort
----------------
Now playing: Skillz - Hip Hop Died (Prod. Khari Ferrari & Skillz)
via FoxyTunes
Skillz first appeared on the scene as Mad Skillz, a new voice from Virginia with an album that dropped 12 years ago. "The Nod Factor" and a couple other tracks like "Extra Abstract Skillz" which featured Q-Tip. It's easily one of the best albums during a golden era in hip hop, what with "Reasonable Doubt" out around the same time.
Nevertheless, losers like me kept an ear out for Skillz and I can remember being on a bus in Cancun with some overgrown athletic women (Kris, you were there in spirit), listening to The Best of the Superfriends mixtape.
Long story short, here's a quick review. I've got a couple more in the vault on the way with my thoughts on Nas's Untitled album next.
I've heard the album and while it's got a couple of quality tracks, overall it almost seems like a personal album, showcasing Skillz ability to use a variety of styles. I don't know what kind of album I would have wanted or expected from him, but I just made a mix with songs from Skillz, The Carter III and Untitled. There are a bunch of Skillz tracks, but not as many as I would have originally thought and they were the first to go when I had to cut tracks off...
That being said, there are times when I listen and hear the voice that I enjoy. But it's weird hearing Hip Hop Died again, a song I feel like I heard a year ago. For the most part, I like the concept songs, but the somewhat negative review on the second site you sent has a touch of truth behind it.
He name-drops all over the place and you have to imagine that Jeezy is someone he ghostwrote for and My Phone, which is all these celebs that he's gotten phone numbers from. The catch being that he loses the phone at the end.
Sick is the only track that sounds like the old Skillz, which I guess is part of getting older. I like that track, but one could argue it's more name-dropping (Lines like I was sick back when Big Boi and 3000 were the best of friends), but it's more about the flow with me. He slows it down a couple too many times and that's just not great...
Preaching to the Choir, a story track, is a breath of fresh air but if he's dropping So Far, So Good as the first track then I don't know what to say cuz that's one of my least favorite tracks on the 14-song effort
----------------
Now playing: Skillz - Hip Hop Died (Prod. Khari Ferrari & Skillz)
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
News & Notes
With the Record's great columnist Bob Klapisch out due to injury, I'll be taking over his space for a while...
At least on this website, in a similar manner with which he operated.
News Item: Shockey traded to Saints
The company motto, seemingly around the Giants and NYC (at least according to Kellerman and Kenny on 1050 ESPN) is that this is addition by substration. That is foolish.
While Shockey's numbers may be varied at times and he did drop passes, he was a legit threat, or at least was considered so by opposing defensive coordinators. That means they planned for him, wondering whether to use a strong safety (too small) or linebacker (too slow) to defend him.
Shockey was also a quality blocker, something the replacement everyone is crying for, Kevin Boss, isn't right now. While I'm not saying they shouldn't have done the deal, let's not forget what the crazy Oklahoman brought to the table.
With that being said, Shockey's exit no wmeans that this is officially Elisha Manning's team. The old guard of Fassel's era (Barber, Strahan, Shockey) are gone. Toomer is part of that, but you never really hear from him. We now live and die with Elisha...
By the way, when was the last time a defending Super Bowl Champion was albe to play the "Us against the World" card two years in a row? According to the world at large, the Giants will be lucky to make the playoffs behind the Eagles with a healthy McNabb and the Cowboys, the greatest team that hasn't won a playoff game in the last decade.
News Item: 'Dancing' Taylor goes to Redskins
Once again, the Redskins place well in the off-season standings with the biggest trade of the off-season. Or at least the last one...
Don't be truly fooled by this. It was necessary for the Skins after a season-ending injury to Phillip Daniels. They needed to fill a hole and the Dolphin great does just that.
Will he be motivated to be great? Yes. Will he make a difference? Sure. Will he be the same All-Pro, Defensive MVP candidate he was in Miami? Of that, I'm not sure. Will he make the Skins good enough to make the playoffs and compete for a Super Bowl? Once again, we'll see but the cards are stacked higha againt himm and his teammates playing in the toughest division in the NFC.
News Item: Yanks just 4.5 gams back.
Despite what Kris read, I wasn't bashing the Yanks with my movie pitches in a previous post. I was just stating the obvious, that this Yankee team is a touch old with young players mixed in (Somewhat like their neighbors in Queens). But I heard an intersting fact the other day.
The Yanks were only a game off the pace they set last year, a year that saw them in the playoffs. Granted, they only had the Red Sox in front of them at the time, but this year they're only three back in the wild card and have nothing but people coming back from injury to help.
It's a scary time to be in the American League right now, but to steal a page from the Wilpons; In his first season at the helm, Joe Girardi will manage meaningful games in September.
News Item: Mets vs. Flithies for the NL East
Yes, the Marlins are only .5 games back and the Braves haven't officially called it in and traded Mark Teixeira (although I don't know who's going to take him, a Scott Boras client in his walk year when most if not all contenders have 1B locked up)...
But tonight starts the biggest three-game series of the year for both the Mets and Flithies. For the Cheese Steak Boys, they had a chance to run away from this division a couple of weeks back and decided to go into the tank against the AL (4-11). They've realized that Adam Eaton was bantu fodder and Joe Blanton is much better and hope that Brett Myers can hang.
The Mets, and all their front-running fans, should just shut up. I didn't think we would run away with anything this year, but I didn't cry a river and call for everyone's head when they played like crap for the first 6 to 8 weeks of the season.
Nevertheless, who would have thought Delgado would remember to go with pitches the other way and Oli Perez would come down to Earth for a couple of consecutive starts and Mike Pelfrey would remember that it's pretty hard to hit a 92-MPH sinker in the strike zone.
But that's all for not since the season starts today and today is when Johan Santana can earn his HUGE contract. We overpaid him for starts like tonight and I don't expect, I demand he produce with at least 7 innings with less than 3 runs. If he can do that, we'll be OK...
At least on this website, in a similar manner with which he operated.
News Item: Shockey traded to Saints
The company motto, seemingly around the Giants and NYC (at least according to Kellerman and Kenny on 1050 ESPN) is that this is addition by substration. That is foolish.
While Shockey's numbers may be varied at times and he did drop passes, he was a legit threat, or at least was considered so by opposing defensive coordinators. That means they planned for him, wondering whether to use a strong safety (too small) or linebacker (too slow) to defend him.
Shockey was also a quality blocker, something the replacement everyone is crying for, Kevin Boss, isn't right now. While I'm not saying they shouldn't have done the deal, let's not forget what the crazy Oklahoman brought to the table.
With that being said, Shockey's exit no wmeans that this is officially Elisha Manning's team. The old guard of Fassel's era (Barber, Strahan, Shockey) are gone. Toomer is part of that, but you never really hear from him. We now live and die with Elisha...
By the way, when was the last time a defending Super Bowl Champion was albe to play the "Us against the World" card two years in a row? According to the world at large, the Giants will be lucky to make the playoffs behind the Eagles with a healthy McNabb and the Cowboys, the greatest team that hasn't won a playoff game in the last decade.
News Item: 'Dancing' Taylor goes to Redskins
Once again, the Redskins place well in the off-season standings with the biggest trade of the off-season. Or at least the last one...
Don't be truly fooled by this. It was necessary for the Skins after a season-ending injury to Phillip Daniels. They needed to fill a hole and the Dolphin great does just that.
Will he be motivated to be great? Yes. Will he make a difference? Sure. Will he be the same All-Pro, Defensive MVP candidate he was in Miami? Of that, I'm not sure. Will he make the Skins good enough to make the playoffs and compete for a Super Bowl? Once again, we'll see but the cards are stacked higha againt himm and his teammates playing in the toughest division in the NFC.
News Item: Yanks just 4.5 gams back.
Despite what Kris read, I wasn't bashing the Yanks with my movie pitches in a previous post. I was just stating the obvious, that this Yankee team is a touch old with young players mixed in (Somewhat like their neighbors in Queens). But I heard an intersting fact the other day.
The Yanks were only a game off the pace they set last year, a year that saw them in the playoffs. Granted, they only had the Red Sox in front of them at the time, but this year they're only three back in the wild card and have nothing but people coming back from injury to help.
It's a scary time to be in the American League right now, but to steal a page from the Wilpons; In his first season at the helm, Joe Girardi will manage meaningful games in September.
News Item: Mets vs. Flithies for the NL East
Yes, the Marlins are only .5 games back and the Braves haven't officially called it in and traded Mark Teixeira (although I don't know who's going to take him, a Scott Boras client in his walk year when most if not all contenders have 1B locked up)...
But tonight starts the biggest three-game series of the year for both the Mets and Flithies. For the Cheese Steak Boys, they had a chance to run away from this division a couple of weeks back and decided to go into the tank against the AL (4-11). They've realized that Adam Eaton was bantu fodder and Joe Blanton is much better and hope that Brett Myers can hang.
The Mets, and all their front-running fans, should just shut up. I didn't think we would run away with anything this year, but I didn't cry a river and call for everyone's head when they played like crap for the first 6 to 8 weeks of the season.
Nevertheless, who would have thought Delgado would remember to go with pitches the other way and Oli Perez would come down to Earth for a couple of consecutive starts and Mike Pelfrey would remember that it's pretty hard to hit a 92-MPH sinker in the strike zone.
But that's all for not since the season starts today and today is when Johan Santana can earn his HUGE contract. We overpaid him for starts like tonight and I don't expect, I demand he produce with at least 7 innings with less than 3 runs. If he can do that, we'll be OK...
Friday, July 18, 2008
Filowitz's Friday Five
1) The 15-inning All Star Game felt exactly like insomnia. You kept saying, "when will this thing finally end?" Yet you're still lying there, awake, tortured, restless, knowing that the longer it goes on, the worse you're going to feel the next day when it's all over. Thank the Lord what's-his-name got that hit off the guy with the beard, and letting us all finally go to sleep, before the hallucinations (i.e. JD Drew pitching) started.
2) I agree with Kris - Brett Favre needs to go away forever. I can't believe it's to the point that ESPN has a "Favre" category on the bottom crawl. I'm getting so annoyed with this saga that I kind of wish Favre would get his wish, and be forced to play for some crap team like the Falcons, and then suck horribly (which he kind of has for the last 4 years, don't tell Peter King) so everyone can mock him. If he can't go away, he can at least give us schadenfreude.
3) In case you missed it, the Knicks signed guard Anthony Roberson, more or less because of how he played in practice and one summer league game (apparently, the guy can really shoot.) This means the Knicks have more guys under contract than there are roster spots. Most media members thinks this means the end of Starbury. Me, I agree with the Posting and Toasting guys, and think this spells the end of Mardy Collins. I don't really see the point of Mardy Collins. What does he do well? Play defense? Eh. If they made him go away, he would not be missed. Of course, they should still get rid of Starbury. By the way, did you see his head tattoo? Maybe we can get Starbury to box Jose Canseco next.
4) I can't seem to get excited for the Olympics. Not even a little. I'll work on it over the next few weeks, but I'm not making any promises. Track and field and swimming do not make my man-parts stir in any way, shape, or form.
5) In self-promotion news, we've relaunched the political humor blog Suck My Caucus. We've now got it at our own URL, www.SuckMyCaucus.com, instead of hosted by Blogger. If you've been reading us, be sure to switch to the new site. If you haven't been reading us, now's as good a time to start as any. It's updated every weekday with jokes about politics and other things in the news. Read us every day, or subscribe to our feed, or do whatever it is you do when you want to let yourself laugh for a change.
2) I agree with Kris - Brett Favre needs to go away forever. I can't believe it's to the point that ESPN has a "Favre" category on the bottom crawl. I'm getting so annoyed with this saga that I kind of wish Favre would get his wish, and be forced to play for some crap team like the Falcons, and then suck horribly (which he kind of has for the last 4 years, don't tell Peter King) so everyone can mock him. If he can't go away, he can at least give us schadenfreude.
3) In case you missed it, the Knicks signed guard Anthony Roberson, more or less because of how he played in practice and one summer league game (apparently, the guy can really shoot.) This means the Knicks have more guys under contract than there are roster spots. Most media members thinks this means the end of Starbury. Me, I agree with the Posting and Toasting guys, and think this spells the end of Mardy Collins. I don't really see the point of Mardy Collins. What does he do well? Play defense? Eh. If they made him go away, he would not be missed. Of course, they should still get rid of Starbury. By the way, did you see his head tattoo? Maybe we can get Starbury to box Jose Canseco next.
4) I can't seem to get excited for the Olympics. Not even a little. I'll work on it over the next few weeks, but I'm not making any promises. Track and field and swimming do not make my man-parts stir in any way, shape, or form.
5) In self-promotion news, we've relaunched the political humor blog Suck My Caucus. We've now got it at our own URL, www.SuckMyCaucus.com, instead of hosted by Blogger. If you've been reading us, be sure to switch to the new site. If you haven't been reading us, now's as good a time to start as any. It's updated every weekday with jokes about politics and other things in the news. Read us every day, or subscribe to our feed, or do whatever it is you do when you want to let yourself laugh for a change.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Pitching Topher Grace around MLB
OK, I want to get through this while it's still on my mind and there's still some sort of All-Star hangover, especially for those of us who tried to stay up and watch the whole thing...
Anyway...
The Wizard of Ozzie - Grace stars as a media/public relations director for the Chicago White Sox and comedy ensues as he tries to contain Ozzie Guillen
(played by either Freddy RodrÃguez or John Leguizamo) while the White Sox battle with the Twins (and their PR guy played by Bill Murray) for the AL Central crown.
How about an animated feature for Pixar?
Cursebreakers - Grace voices Loyd Christopher, who despite growing up in Redmond, CA was always a Cub fan. He made his pro debut with the 1945 team and didn't get a hit, not until two years later with the White Sox. He bounced around the minors, but never made it back to his adopted home, Chicago, where he died in 1991. At the gates, he's given a chance to go back and get that first hit with the Cubs, only now its 2008.
There's some alternate plot with Joe Black, a New Jersey native who missed his chance to shine for his hometown friends with the Brooklyn Dodgers when Bobby Thompson hits his home run in 1954. Both are dropped back into bodies of late-season callups that make the playoff roster and eventually face off in the NLCS with a trip to the World Series on the line.
This needs a little more work, but you get the drift...
Now the coup de grace, Mindbender.
Grace played Ryan Church and the movie starts with his second concussion, this one in Atlanta when he takes Braves shortstop Yunel Escobar's knee to the head and goes black. We come back to Church in a hospital bed, his wife Tina (played by Maria Bello) looking down and asking him to "Open his eyes and see his son Mason." He notices that Brett Farve is announcing his retirement and then sees video of his first concussion, when he collided with Marlon Anderson in the outfield in March.
The movie moves back and forth, sometimes going back to Church in high school where he's complained of "migranes", other times we come back to present-day and the timeline can be judged by Farve's activity. Sometimes he'll see Farve retired, other times he'll be with the Pack. We're also watching the standing and the Mets and Flithies are neck and neck.
Church comes back in August and plays well for a couple of weeks, but after hitting a two-run double gets dizzy at second base. He scores the run and takes himself out, going back on the DL for two weeks and back again to the head doctor, played by Gary Oldman who looks slightly different each time Church sees him.
The movie ends with Church waking up in his own bed, Tina telling him to open his eyes because he's late. Whether he's late for batting practice, the World Series parade or another doctor appointment is never made clear. This would be pitched to IFC Films and would likely include him talking with football and hockey players about concussions and the modern athlete.
So whadda think?
Anyway...
The Wizard of Ozzie - Grace stars as a media/public relations director for the Chicago White Sox and comedy ensues as he tries to contain Ozzie Guillen
(played by either Freddy RodrÃguez or John Leguizamo) while the White Sox battle with the Twins (and their PR guy played by Bill Murray) for the AL Central crown.
How about an animated feature for Pixar?
Cursebreakers - Grace voices Loyd Christopher, who despite growing up in Redmond, CA was always a Cub fan. He made his pro debut with the 1945 team and didn't get a hit, not until two years later with the White Sox. He bounced around the minors, but never made it back to his adopted home, Chicago, where he died in 1991. At the gates, he's given a chance to go back and get that first hit with the Cubs, only now its 2008.
There's some alternate plot with Joe Black, a New Jersey native who missed his chance to shine for his hometown friends with the Brooklyn Dodgers when Bobby Thompson hits his home run in 1954. Both are dropped back into bodies of late-season callups that make the playoff roster and eventually face off in the NLCS with a trip to the World Series on the line.
This needs a little more work, but you get the drift...
Now the coup de grace, Mindbender.
Grace played Ryan Church and the movie starts with his second concussion, this one in Atlanta when he takes Braves shortstop Yunel Escobar's knee to the head and goes black. We come back to Church in a hospital bed, his wife Tina (played by Maria Bello) looking down and asking him to "Open his eyes and see his son Mason." He notices that Brett Farve is announcing his retirement and then sees video of his first concussion, when he collided with Marlon Anderson in the outfield in March.
The movie moves back and forth, sometimes going back to Church in high school where he's complained of "migranes", other times we come back to present-day and the timeline can be judged by Farve's activity. Sometimes he'll see Farve retired, other times he'll be with the Pack. We're also watching the standing and the Mets and Flithies are neck and neck.
Church comes back in August and plays well for a couple of weeks, but after hitting a two-run double gets dizzy at second base. He scores the run and takes himself out, going back on the DL for two weeks and back again to the head doctor, played by Gary Oldman who looks slightly different each time Church sees him.
The movie ends with Church waking up in his own bed, Tina telling him to open his eyes because he's late. Whether he's late for batting practice, the World Series parade or another doctor appointment is never made clear. This would be pitched to IFC Films and would likely include him talking with football and hockey players about concussions and the modern athlete.
So whadda think?
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Topher Grace in MLB at the Break - AL West
As I'm sure all of you are well aware of, That 70's Show is now in syndication on both ABC Family and The N, not to mention FX and likely one of your local affiliates.
It's one of my favorite shows from the late 1990's into the new century, mostly because the central character in the ensemble cast was played flawlessly by Topher Grace.
So why not look back on each of the MLB Divisions with movie pitches staring Mr. Grace...
(Stick with me on this, there may be a point or two worth reading)
AL West - The Josh Hamilton Story
This one was obvious in so many ways. Need I really spell it out?
OK, fine, using creative license with the story cuz I really don't feel like reading all that's been done about this guy. We'll start out with Hamilton (Grace) in the locker room at Yankee Stadium. He's on the phone with his sponsor/girlfriend, played by Ali Larter, and they talk like he's just another recovering addict.
Then he goes out and bombs 28 taters before millions on ESPN as the credits role.
We go back to Hamilton in high school, killing the ball and running around Raleigh, NC with Megan Fox on his arm.
She is too hot to not have a wild side. Hamilton, being the toast of the town and even more so after Tampa Bay drafts him No. 1, gets everything thrown at him and Fox does as well...
On second thought, I don't know if she can handle the role and what it needs because the duo are headed to a real bad place. I think Grace can handle the coke and the herion and the like based on his time in Traffic and that part can last long enough for her to die from an overdose, like Halle Berry did in Jungle Fever.
Well, maybe she didn't die in A Spike Lee Joint, but what's wrong with another excuse to look at the new mother.
Anyway, Hamilton goes down far enough into the gutter that he stumbles onto a Little League baseball field where Larter's son is playing. One thing leads to another and you can figure out the rest.
Unfortunetly, we'll end with the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles celebrating their division title at the Ballpark in Arlington. Hamilton heads back to the locker room and goes into a dark place, striking out to end the game and all. He looks like he's headed back down that bad road, then Larter's kid shows up with a big smile and everyone is happy again.
Hooray!!!
It's one of my favorite shows from the late 1990's into the new century, mostly because the central character in the ensemble cast was played flawlessly by Topher Grace.
So why not look back on each of the MLB Divisions with movie pitches staring Mr. Grace...
(Stick with me on this, there may be a point or two worth reading)
AL West - The Josh Hamilton Story
This one was obvious in so many ways. Need I really spell it out?
OK, fine, using creative license with the story cuz I really don't feel like reading all that's been done about this guy. We'll start out with Hamilton (Grace) in the locker room at Yankee Stadium. He's on the phone with his sponsor/girlfriend, played by Ali Larter, and they talk like he's just another recovering addict.
Then he goes out and bombs 28 taters before millions on ESPN as the credits role.
We go back to Hamilton in high school, killing the ball and running around Raleigh, NC with Megan Fox on his arm.
She is too hot to not have a wild side. Hamilton, being the toast of the town and even more so after Tampa Bay drafts him No. 1, gets everything thrown at him and Fox does as well...
On second thought, I don't know if she can handle the role and what it needs because the duo are headed to a real bad place. I think Grace can handle the coke and the herion and the like based on his time in Traffic and that part can last long enough for her to die from an overdose, like Halle Berry did in Jungle Fever.
Well, maybe she didn't die in A Spike Lee Joint, but what's wrong with another excuse to look at the new mother.
Anyway, Hamilton goes down far enough into the gutter that he stumbles onto a Little League baseball field where Larter's son is playing. One thing leads to another and you can figure out the rest.
Unfortunetly, we'll end with the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles celebrating their division title at the Ballpark in Arlington. Hamilton heads back to the locker room and goes into a dark place, striking out to end the game and all. He looks like he's headed back down that bad road, then Larter's kid shows up with a big smile and everyone is happy again.
Hooray!!!
Cover this!
With all the flap about the New Yorker cover on Obama and his wife, I will keep this quick.
1) I see the sarcasm and giggled. That's exactly how Fox News and the right side of the line view the man.
2) The New Yorker, who's been doing animated covers since the 1920s, shouldn't and won't lose sleep over this issue. In fact, they may have more sales of it, but I can tell you one thing - I doubt they'll lose any subscribers over this.
3) The spotlight is on this now because Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and Linsdey Lohan haven't done anything cool in weeks, we're still waiting on Bradgalina to sell photos of the twins and as the late great George Carlin said, "People like it when you're topical", so we push the politics a little on a non-issue.
1) I see the sarcasm and giggled. That's exactly how Fox News and the right side of the line view the man.
2) The New Yorker, who's been doing animated covers since the 1920s, shouldn't and won't lose sleep over this issue. In fact, they may have more sales of it, but I can tell you one thing - I doubt they'll lose any subscribers over this.
3) The spotlight is on this now because Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and Linsdey Lohan haven't done anything cool in weeks, we're still waiting on Bradgalina to sell photos of the twins and as the late great George Carlin said, "People like it when you're topical", so we push the politics a little on a non-issue.
Topher Grace in MLB at the Break - AL East
As I'm sure all of you are well aware of, That 70's Show is now in syndication on both ABC Family and The N, not to mention FX and likely one of your local affiliates.
It's one of my favorite shows from the late 1990's into the new century, mostly because the central character in the ensemble cast was played flawlessly by Topher Grace.
So why not look back on each of the MLB Divisions with movie pitches staring Mr. Grace...
(Stick with me on this, there may be a point or two worth reading)
AL East: Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil
The Yankees won't hear anything about the age of their team, don't want to hear that Melky Cabrera (.241 average) and Robinson Cano (.246) won't bounce back and produce in the second half, don't want to hear that they won't go far without Chien-Ming Wang (despite his 4.07 ERA before he forgot how to run the bases.) or that they should have moved Phillip Hughes or Ian Kennedy for Johan Santana last summer.
However the Rays will hear plenty. They'll hear about how they haven't seen pressure like these last few months will entail. How they won't be able to see the Red Sox in the distance after losing seven straight headed into the All-Star break and how their pitching staff, currently ranked third in the league with a 3.79 ERA, hasn't seen the mound in a pennant chase.
However they'll speak the company line, detailed so well by Crash Davis in Bull Durham. They'll speak about respecting the Red Sox and their history and they should because until the end of September, there's only one defending World Series champion to speak of and that's Red Sox Nation. It's within that nation that our hero, Topher Grace will play the role of J.D. Drew, who was killed by those wonderful fans in Philly for not signing with their no-account franchise before solid seasons as a Cardinal. Then to Atlanta for a breakout year (.305, 31 HR, 93 RBI) before a couple of seasons in LA.
These are all flash sequences, leading to Drew (Grace) answering the phone and talking with Theo Epstein about coming to Fenway. We follow Drew through a rough first season, one that sees fans still finding ways to hate him despite the team's success.
He spends the off-season dating a book worm, played by Kate Beckinsale, who gets him to release his inner-tension and through their love, he explodes in 2008, leading the Sox to another division title when the film fades to black.
It's one of my favorite shows from the late 1990's into the new century, mostly because the central character in the ensemble cast was played flawlessly by Topher Grace.
So why not look back on each of the MLB Divisions with movie pitches staring Mr. Grace...
(Stick with me on this, there may be a point or two worth reading)
AL East: Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil
The Yankees won't hear anything about the age of their team, don't want to hear that Melky Cabrera (.241 average) and Robinson Cano (.246) won't bounce back and produce in the second half, don't want to hear that they won't go far without Chien-Ming Wang (despite his 4.07 ERA before he forgot how to run the bases.) or that they should have moved Phillip Hughes or Ian Kennedy for Johan Santana last summer.
However the Rays will hear plenty. They'll hear about how they haven't seen pressure like these last few months will entail. How they won't be able to see the Red Sox in the distance after losing seven straight headed into the All-Star break and how their pitching staff, currently ranked third in the league with a 3.79 ERA, hasn't seen the mound in a pennant chase.
However they'll speak the company line, detailed so well by Crash Davis in Bull Durham. They'll speak about respecting the Red Sox and their history and they should because until the end of September, there's only one defending World Series champion to speak of and that's Red Sox Nation. It's within that nation that our hero, Topher Grace will play the role of J.D. Drew, who was killed by those wonderful fans in Philly for not signing with their no-account franchise before solid seasons as a Cardinal. Then to Atlanta for a breakout year (.305, 31 HR, 93 RBI) before a couple of seasons in LA.
These are all flash sequences, leading to Drew (Grace) answering the phone and talking with Theo Epstein about coming to Fenway. We follow Drew through a rough first season, one that sees fans still finding ways to hate him despite the team's success.
He spends the off-season dating a book worm, played by Kate Beckinsale, who gets him to release his inner-tension and through their love, he explodes in 2008, leading the Sox to another division title when the film fades to black.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Go Away
Now everyone knows I am huge Brett Favre fan. And when his retirement happened I didn't really mention it here on the blog. His career speaks for itself, it is one of those that doesn't need definition or clarification.
As is the case with so many athletes he already has an itch to comeback, which fucking sickens me to no end. I have had to live through I don't know how many Sugar Ray Leonard retirements, Michael Jordan playing with the Wizards, and the Roger Clemens sweepstakes every year. Now again, another all time great will don a uniform that makes him look totally out of place.
I don't have a big long diatribe to go on here about owing something to the fans or being allowed to come back because he has earned it and all that jazz. I do have a simple solution. When you announce your retirement from a major professional sport, no matter how good or bad you are, we cut one of your legs off.
That way if you have any thoughts of coming back, you nedd just look down and say "Oh shit, I only have one fucking leg."
As is the case with so many athletes he already has an itch to comeback, which fucking sickens me to no end. I have had to live through I don't know how many Sugar Ray Leonard retirements, Michael Jordan playing with the Wizards, and the Roger Clemens sweepstakes every year. Now again, another all time great will don a uniform that makes him look totally out of place.
I don't have a big long diatribe to go on here about owing something to the fans or being allowed to come back because he has earned it and all that jazz. I do have a simple solution. When you announce your retirement from a major professional sport, no matter how good or bad you are, we cut one of your legs off.
That way if you have any thoughts of coming back, you nedd just look down and say "Oh shit, I only have one fucking leg."
Friday, July 11, 2008
Filowitz's Friday Five
Dog days of summer short version!
1) Elton Brand to the Sixers is a nice move for both parties. Spare me the "betrayed the team" story line. Brand doesn't owe the Clippers anything. He played for that crap franchise for a long time, and never really bitched about it. As for the Sixers, that gives them an All Star piece to go with their squad of young athletes and Andre Miller. They'll be tough next year, no doubt.
2) Baron Davis to the Clippers is now a bummer. If Brand had stayed, that could have been an interesting team. Now, it's Baron toiling on a crappy team again, like he did for a couple years on those Hornets teams. Baron was more fun to watch on a competitive team like the Warriors of th last two years. At least he gets to make movies now or something.
3) Corey Maggette to the Warriors is interesting. Another mid-sized swingman with great scoring ability and limited defensive skills. The Warriors are worse without Baron, but adding Magette (and possibly Turiaf) will make them not as much worse.
4) Chris Duhon to the Knicks is virtually pointless. He's not particularly good at anything - I guess that means he and Mardy Collins will get along.
5) There are probably too many Cubs on the All Star team. Does that say something about Cubs fans or the overall crappiness of the NL this year? Or both? Or neither?
1) Elton Brand to the Sixers is a nice move for both parties. Spare me the "betrayed the team" story line. Brand doesn't owe the Clippers anything. He played for that crap franchise for a long time, and never really bitched about it. As for the Sixers, that gives them an All Star piece to go with their squad of young athletes and Andre Miller. They'll be tough next year, no doubt.
2) Baron Davis to the Clippers is now a bummer. If Brand had stayed, that could have been an interesting team. Now, it's Baron toiling on a crappy team again, like he did for a couple years on those Hornets teams. Baron was more fun to watch on a competitive team like the Warriors of th last two years. At least he gets to make movies now or something.
3) Corey Maggette to the Warriors is interesting. Another mid-sized swingman with great scoring ability and limited defensive skills. The Warriors are worse without Baron, but adding Magette (and possibly Turiaf) will make them not as much worse.
4) Chris Duhon to the Knicks is virtually pointless. He's not particularly good at anything - I guess that means he and Mardy Collins will get along.
5) There are probably too many Cubs on the All Star team. Does that say something about Cubs fans or the overall crappiness of the NL this year? Or both? Or neither?
Monday, July 7, 2008
Baseballocalypse
Maybe you're like me and don't really start to pay full attention to baseball until after July 4th.
Maybe you're like Brendan Fraser in that stupid movie and you've been locked in a bomb shelter for a very long time.
Maybe you have some complicated idea about objective vs. subjective truths that you learned about in grad school comparative lit class.
Whatever it may be, it cannot be denied that on this day, at this time, the team with the best record in the American League is the Tampa Bay Rays (they had an exorcism over the winter, and got the Devil out), and the team with the best record in the National League is the Chicago Cubs.
Tampa Bay and the Cubs.
First place.
Sheeeeeeet.
Next thing you'll tell me that a black guy might be president.
Maybe you're like Brendan Fraser in that stupid movie and you've been locked in a bomb shelter for a very long time.
Maybe you have some complicated idea about objective vs. subjective truths that you learned about in grad school comparative lit class.
Whatever it may be, it cannot be denied that on this day, at this time, the team with the best record in the American League is the Tampa Bay Rays (they had an exorcism over the winter, and got the Devil out), and the team with the best record in the National League is the Chicago Cubs.
Tampa Bay and the Cubs.
First place.
Sheeeeeeet.
Next thing you'll tell me that a black guy might be president.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Live NBA Draft Chat
For the second year in a row we tried a live NBA draft chat. It turned out to be myself, Dan and Josh, and Martin oh so briefly. I could only imagine he had smelly diapers or something to go change, see what you have to look forward to Josh. Without further adieu, here are portions of the chat:
Martin’s brief, yet amusing appearance
Twinkie: What did I miss so far?
josh: they need a post up guy
FiloDan: Everyone except for NO, Utah, Phoenix, and Philly need a PG
Kris: Martina all you missed was us discussing the size od Doris Burks penis
FiloDan: Oh, and Detroit, and maybe Boston. All teams need PGs.
josh: if it wasnt for the upside potential of the families saying something ridiculous I would be utilizing the mute button
Kris: how long before one mother looks at someone and says "who is this crazy white lady?"
josh: is it really unimagineable that beasley was picked in the top 2?
Twinkie: Doris Burke's junk? About 7.5 inches with a slight tilt to the left if I remember correctly
Twinkie: I was stoned on PCP and Miller Lite at the time
Kris: good call, I love PCP
More Doris Burke Inuendos
josh: and she has a great burst like d rose
FiloDan: Her spurtability is off the chart
FiloDan: She can really get up and down the court, if you catch my meaning
The Knicks pick is fast approaching
FiloDan: Bilas: "he wants to be a basketball player" Thanks for that insight, captain
FiloDan: Mayo is awesome. I was hoping he slipped to the Knicks
Kris: by the way, speaking of the Knicks if they draft the foreign dude I may have to due my home closing from a mental health hospital tomorrow
FiloDan: I'm still on record that if they take a Lopez, I quit.
Russell Westbrook goes way to early
Kris: WORST PICK OF ALL FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FiloDan: Wow. That's high for Westbrook.
josh: was mbah a moute not available?
Kris: wow, he stinks
FiloDan: "stinks" is strong. the guy plays good D.
Kris: this is such a bad pick, go Seattle, have fun with all that
Kris: STINKS
FiloDan: Can the Knicks get Bayless, then?
FiloDan: And elaborate on "stinks" then
Kris: he cant play the game good
More of Knicks fans lamenting
josh: frederic mfing weis
Kris: I will buy Grizzlies season tickets if the take Mussolini (Galinari)
FiloDan: How about the trifecta year: John Wallace, Walter McCarty, Dante Jones
Kris: that was the best draft ever
FiloDan: Mussolini had good hang time
FiloDan: Off a lamp post
Kris: rreally we coudl re-hash any Knicks pick since Rod Strickland, that was the last productive NBA guy they selected
josh: john wallace had a good season
FiloDan: David Lee much?
josh: jerrod mustaf
josh: who was the guy from notre dame
josh: monty williams
FiloDan: Ooh, Monty Williams. He blew
You guess what just happened
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
josh: better than lopez
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
FiloDan: I agree with the crowd. Boo
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
FiloDan: But, yeah, better than Lopez
Kris: they just mentioned freddy weis
josh: fran fraschilla
Kris: I pine for the days when we draft Channning Frye and Wilson Chandler, fucking a, what the hell is wrong with this team
Kris: someone fucking kill fraschilla
Dan is still angry
FiloDan: I never got the "not a good athelte, but he can play"
FiloDan: Seems like the two are closely related
josh: how can you root against a guy who plays for the armani jeans team
FiloDan: It's easy. Watch.
FiloDan: (not rooting)
Jordan sucks, still
Kris: Charlotte could use Lopez, they need a true big, make Emeker a 4 man which is what he is
FiloDan: That would make a lot of sense for Charlotte.
FiloDan: But Jordan is in charge, so they'll take a guard
Kris: Jordan will clearly draft DeAndre Jordan
FiloDan: (no relation)
FiloDan: I told you Charlotte would take a guard.
FiloDan: My smart is smarter than your smart.
I just realize Martin is gone, nobody else cares
Kris: Jordan is the fucking worst, he really is
Kris: I bet screamin A hasnt seen any of these guys play
FiloDan: Stephen A is annoying, but does like basketball, and knows what he's talking about when he calms down
Kris: What happened to Martin?
josh: tougher and more physican doesnt equal lpez
FiloDan: Mark Jackson, on the other hand, has no idea what he's talking about
Some guy from Rider gets picked, early
FiloDan: "Jason is not here"
Kris: he doesn play very "big"
josh: thats at least the fourth, "not a great athlete"
Kris: in case Jay hasnt noticed the league is all about athletes
josh: reggie theus thinks he still coaching the team on hang time
FiloDan: Theus was a good coach for a rookie
josh: that maac tournament is grueling
FiloDan: They had a bunch of injuries
Kris: "great motor" that is usually reserved for white defensive players in college football
Better than the NFL draft, but stillt he Knicks took some foreign dude
josh: less than 90 min in and already 14 picks, if this was the nfl we'd be at pick 6
Kris: by the way we are getting to random foreign guy time
Kris: Nicolas Batum could go any minute now
Kris: Dick Vitale is actually makign a good point about foreign losers, go get em Dicky V
josh: but he wont go all the way
josh: and say gallinari is a bad pick
josh: he is the king of hedging
josh: who gets stuck with kosta koufos
FiloDan: Chad Ford says Gallinari is an Italian Tony Kukoc
Dan doesn’t like me so much
FiloDan: Speights is a good pick for Philly
FiloDan: They could use a big who has some offensive skills
Kris: he doesnt have offensive skill
Kris: he has super athleticism, and the lognest arms ever
Kris: but Philly drafted the great Thaddeus Young last year, I think you coudl look back last year and I discussed the awfulness of that pick
FiloDan: Are you kidding? Thaddeus Young was fantastic this year.
FiloDan: Did you watch any 76er games?
FiloDan: I just spent the last few minutes looking up Thaddeus Young's numbers on Basketball-Reference.com
FiloDan: His PER was 16.5, in only 21 minute a game. He's good.
Kris: Thaddues Young blows, I can make a stat say anything
FiloDan: You're also wrong most of the time
Kris: good point, but that doesnt stop me from having my opinion
Kris: GO ELI MANNING!!! (pointing out how I was the driver of the Eli bandwagon even though Dan still doesn’t think he is any good)
Things get out of control, but there are some funny lines in here
josh: if you were terry porter would you hire kevin duckworth to tutor shaq
Kris: on what, how to suck
Kris: Shaq has that down in his career
josh: how to play as a fat mess
FiloDan: Terry Porter, tell me how my ass tastes
FiloDan: "JaVale is not here"
josh: where's nick fazekas
FiloDan: What about Douglas-Roberts to Cleveland?
Kris: no
josh: cdr can play
Kris: Douglas Roberts was awful in workouts with effort, skill and conduct/character
josh: agent 0 should go to the cavs
FiloDan: Why not? He can score. No one else on Cleveland besides LBJ can score.
josh: here come the trades
FiloDan: Portland!
josh: jarett jack baby
FiloDan: Jack isn't bad, but he wasn't the answer for them at PG
Just looking ahead to random foreign guy time
Kris: I cannot wait for the second round, I love random guys
FiloDan: Serge Ibaka
FiloDan: "J.J. is not here"
FiloDan: Good times.
MJ is on the clock, god he sucks big time
FiloDan: May and Morrison: busts, or horrific busts?
Kris: horrific busts
Kris: May I dont think anyone thought would be great, Morrison has been hurt but this year he better produce and in a hurry
Kris: Yes
Kris: Foreign guy time!!!!
josh: frederic weis reference coming
FiloDan: At least we weren't the only team to take a foreigner in the first round
josh: is may that bad?
Kris: Fran just said big and long, that is special
josh: tonights buzz word is wing span
Kris: that is a fancy term for length
FiloDan: Weis: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xp6qJ7LZNlg
FiloDan: You know who's got a good wing span? Condors.
Lets go NETS, N-E-T-S, NETS, NETS, NETS
FiloDan: Why not draft two busts in the same draft? Good times for the Nets
josh: is devin harris a true one
josh: who the fuck is ryan anderson
Kris: yeah, he is barely a one
FiloDan: I actually like that pick. I think Anderson is good.
josh: didnt they already draft a tall scrubby white guy
Kris: The Nets blow, they better make a huge run at LEBron
josh: speaking of austin croshere
FiloDan: What's wrong with Croshere? He had some good years in Indiana
Kosta Koufos, what else can I say
FiloDan: They'll love Koufos in Utah. White guys!
Kris: Jay Bilas is gonan go crazy if someone doesnt take Koufos soon
FiloDan: CDR?
FiloDan: Good call, Josh.
Kris: I am telling you, I heard directly from various NBA workouts that nobody likes CDR
josh: the next ostertag
josh: koufos greek?
FiloDan: Family is greek, but Koufos is American.
Everybody do the Congo line
Kris: yes
FiloDan: Unbelievable! Ibaka!
josh: serge is here
Kris: the second Congoneses guy to play in the league baby
FiloDan: Ibaka's agent wanted him to get picked in the second round so he could play in Spain
FiloDan: and not have to deal with the first-round salary restrictions
Kris: well sucks for Ibaka
josh: in 3-4 years he could be a shot blocker, definitely a better pick than arthur
Random Foreign guy time
Kris: I love this guy
FiloDan: Batum! Batum!
Kris: 7yes Fran tell us how great this guy is
FiloDan: (sounds like the name of the horse whose head got cut off in Godfather)
Kris: ohyeah, he is great, well why does he suck balls Fran?
Kris: Fun Fact about Batum: "Won MVP of the 2006 Albert Schweitzer Tournament”
Soccer, Will Ferrell, Isaiah….this thing got out of hand in a hurry
josh: in an unrelated issue, brad guzan might sign with aston villa
josh: will ferrell is turning into eddie murphy
Kris: I am telling you Guzan is a fucking beast, he will be our starting Goalie in the next World Cup
FiloDan: what's all this soccer talk doing here?
FiloDan: Who takes Bill Walker?
Kris: I cant understand why Ferrell is dragging John C Reily down with him, he can actually act
Kris: teams that want a guy who cant shoot from 3 point range and likes to fight with his teammates
FiloDan: So, the 2002 Blazers, then.
Kris: Guzan played here at South Carolina and after two years left school and was the 1st pik int he MLS draft but I didnt here people screaming about how soccer players needed to saty in college
FiloDan: DJ White off the bench with Maxiell and Amir Johnson. Nice.
josh: didnt realize he was that big
Kris: dumars ia a fucking GM, that is how you make a team
Kris: did Stu just say dont boo Isaiah, Stu did you see what he has done to our once proud franchise?
FiloDan: I don't even say that guy's name anymore, let alone boo him. Booing is too easy, too pedestrian for what that guy did to us.
FiloDan: I'd rather burn him in effigy
A little final analysis
FiloDan: Best? Blazers and Bulls.
Kris: worst
FiloDan: Worst? Denver.
FiloDan: No draft picks? Dumb.
Kris: I got Blazers and I like the Cavs pic of Hickson
josh: disappointed in the nets
FiloDan: Very good? Pistons. White takes Theo Ratliff's minutes.
Kris: worst, NJ and NY
josh: i like hibbert to ind
FiloDan: I don't like Charlotte's draft, Ajinca and Lopez
josh: is that rodney giddens' brother?
Kris: yeah, well it is Jrodan doing the drafting. That is an awful pick to end this thing. Its been real, it been fun, but it aint been real-fun. Now I must go
Martin’s brief, yet amusing appearance
Twinkie: What did I miss so far?
josh: they need a post up guy
FiloDan: Everyone except for NO, Utah, Phoenix, and Philly need a PG
Kris: Martina all you missed was us discussing the size od Doris Burks penis
FiloDan: Oh, and Detroit, and maybe Boston. All teams need PGs.
josh: if it wasnt for the upside potential of the families saying something ridiculous I would be utilizing the mute button
Kris: how long before one mother looks at someone and says "who is this crazy white lady?"
josh: is it really unimagineable that beasley was picked in the top 2?
Twinkie: Doris Burke's junk? About 7.5 inches with a slight tilt to the left if I remember correctly
Twinkie: I was stoned on PCP and Miller Lite at the time
Kris: good call, I love PCP
More Doris Burke Inuendos
josh: and she has a great burst like d rose
FiloDan: Her spurtability is off the chart
FiloDan: She can really get up and down the court, if you catch my meaning
The Knicks pick is fast approaching
FiloDan: Bilas: "he wants to be a basketball player" Thanks for that insight, captain
FiloDan: Mayo is awesome. I was hoping he slipped to the Knicks
Kris: by the way, speaking of the Knicks if they draft the foreign dude I may have to due my home closing from a mental health hospital tomorrow
FiloDan: I'm still on record that if they take a Lopez, I quit.
Russell Westbrook goes way to early
Kris: WORST PICK OF ALL FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FiloDan: Wow. That's high for Westbrook.
josh: was mbah a moute not available?
Kris: wow, he stinks
FiloDan: "stinks" is strong. the guy plays good D.
Kris: this is such a bad pick, go Seattle, have fun with all that
Kris: STINKS
FiloDan: Can the Knicks get Bayless, then?
FiloDan: And elaborate on "stinks" then
Kris: he cant play the game good
More of Knicks fans lamenting
josh: frederic mfing weis
Kris: I will buy Grizzlies season tickets if the take Mussolini (Galinari)
FiloDan: How about the trifecta year: John Wallace, Walter McCarty, Dante Jones
Kris: that was the best draft ever
FiloDan: Mussolini had good hang time
FiloDan: Off a lamp post
Kris: rreally we coudl re-hash any Knicks pick since Rod Strickland, that was the last productive NBA guy they selected
josh: john wallace had a good season
FiloDan: David Lee much?
josh: jerrod mustaf
josh: who was the guy from notre dame
josh: monty williams
FiloDan: Ooh, Monty Williams. He blew
You guess what just happened
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
josh: better than lopez
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
FiloDan: I agree with the crowd. Boo
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
FiloDan: But, yeah, better than Lopez
Kris: they just mentioned freddy weis
josh: fran fraschilla
Kris: I pine for the days when we draft Channning Frye and Wilson Chandler, fucking a, what the hell is wrong with this team
Kris: someone fucking kill fraschilla
Dan is still angry
FiloDan: I never got the "not a good athelte, but he can play"
FiloDan: Seems like the two are closely related
josh: how can you root against a guy who plays for the armani jeans team
FiloDan: It's easy. Watch.
FiloDan: (not rooting)
Jordan sucks, still
Kris: Charlotte could use Lopez, they need a true big, make Emeker a 4 man which is what he is
FiloDan: That would make a lot of sense for Charlotte.
FiloDan: But Jordan is in charge, so they'll take a guard
Kris: Jordan will clearly draft DeAndre Jordan
FiloDan: (no relation)
FiloDan: I told you Charlotte would take a guard.
FiloDan: My smart is smarter than your smart.
I just realize Martin is gone, nobody else cares
Kris: Jordan is the fucking worst, he really is
Kris: I bet screamin A hasnt seen any of these guys play
FiloDan: Stephen A is annoying, but does like basketball, and knows what he's talking about when he calms down
Kris: What happened to Martin?
josh: tougher and more physican doesnt equal lpez
FiloDan: Mark Jackson, on the other hand, has no idea what he's talking about
Some guy from Rider gets picked, early
FiloDan: "Jason is not here"
Kris: he doesn play very "big"
josh: thats at least the fourth, "not a great athlete"
Kris: in case Jay hasnt noticed the league is all about athletes
josh: reggie theus thinks he still coaching the team on hang time
FiloDan: Theus was a good coach for a rookie
josh: that maac tournament is grueling
FiloDan: They had a bunch of injuries
Kris: "great motor" that is usually reserved for white defensive players in college football
Better than the NFL draft, but stillt he Knicks took some foreign dude
josh: less than 90 min in and already 14 picks, if this was the nfl we'd be at pick 6
Kris: by the way we are getting to random foreign guy time
Kris: Nicolas Batum could go any minute now
Kris: Dick Vitale is actually makign a good point about foreign losers, go get em Dicky V
josh: but he wont go all the way
josh: and say gallinari is a bad pick
josh: he is the king of hedging
josh: who gets stuck with kosta koufos
FiloDan: Chad Ford says Gallinari is an Italian Tony Kukoc
Dan doesn’t like me so much
FiloDan: Speights is a good pick for Philly
FiloDan: They could use a big who has some offensive skills
Kris: he doesnt have offensive skill
Kris: he has super athleticism, and the lognest arms ever
Kris: but Philly drafted the great Thaddeus Young last year, I think you coudl look back last year and I discussed the awfulness of that pick
FiloDan: Are you kidding? Thaddeus Young was fantastic this year.
FiloDan: Did you watch any 76er games?
FiloDan: I just spent the last few minutes looking up Thaddeus Young's numbers on Basketball-Reference.com
FiloDan: His PER was 16.5, in only 21 minute a game. He's good.
Kris: Thaddues Young blows, I can make a stat say anything
FiloDan: You're also wrong most of the time
Kris: good point, but that doesnt stop me from having my opinion
Kris: GO ELI MANNING!!! (pointing out how I was the driver of the Eli bandwagon even though Dan still doesn’t think he is any good)
Things get out of control, but there are some funny lines in here
josh: if you were terry porter would you hire kevin duckworth to tutor shaq
Kris: on what, how to suck
Kris: Shaq has that down in his career
josh: how to play as a fat mess
FiloDan: Terry Porter, tell me how my ass tastes
FiloDan: "JaVale is not here"
josh: where's nick fazekas
FiloDan: What about Douglas-Roberts to Cleveland?
Kris: no
josh: cdr can play
Kris: Douglas Roberts was awful in workouts with effort, skill and conduct/character
josh: agent 0 should go to the cavs
FiloDan: Why not? He can score. No one else on Cleveland besides LBJ can score.
josh: here come the trades
FiloDan: Portland!
josh: jarett jack baby
FiloDan: Jack isn't bad, but he wasn't the answer for them at PG
Just looking ahead to random foreign guy time
Kris: I cannot wait for the second round, I love random guys
FiloDan: Serge Ibaka
FiloDan: "J.J. is not here"
FiloDan: Good times.
MJ is on the clock, god he sucks big time
FiloDan: May and Morrison: busts, or horrific busts?
Kris: horrific busts
Kris: May I dont think anyone thought would be great, Morrison has been hurt but this year he better produce and in a hurry
Kris: Yes
Kris: Foreign guy time!!!!
josh: frederic weis reference coming
FiloDan: At least we weren't the only team to take a foreigner in the first round
josh: is may that bad?
Kris: Fran just said big and long, that is special
josh: tonights buzz word is wing span
Kris: that is a fancy term for length
FiloDan: Weis: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xp6qJ7LZNlg
FiloDan: You know who's got a good wing span? Condors.
Lets go NETS, N-E-T-S, NETS, NETS, NETS
FiloDan: Why not draft two busts in the same draft? Good times for the Nets
josh: is devin harris a true one
josh: who the fuck is ryan anderson
Kris: yeah, he is barely a one
FiloDan: I actually like that pick. I think Anderson is good.
josh: didnt they already draft a tall scrubby white guy
Kris: The Nets blow, they better make a huge run at LEBron
josh: speaking of austin croshere
FiloDan: What's wrong with Croshere? He had some good years in Indiana
Kosta Koufos, what else can I say
FiloDan: They'll love Koufos in Utah. White guys!
Kris: Jay Bilas is gonan go crazy if someone doesnt take Koufos soon
FiloDan: CDR?
FiloDan: Good call, Josh.
Kris: I am telling you, I heard directly from various NBA workouts that nobody likes CDR
josh: the next ostertag
josh: koufos greek?
FiloDan: Family is greek, but Koufos is American.
Everybody do the Congo line
Kris: yes
FiloDan: Unbelievable! Ibaka!
josh: serge is here
Kris: the second Congoneses guy to play in the league baby
FiloDan: Ibaka's agent wanted him to get picked in the second round so he could play in Spain
FiloDan: and not have to deal with the first-round salary restrictions
Kris: well sucks for Ibaka
josh: in 3-4 years he could be a shot blocker, definitely a better pick than arthur
Random Foreign guy time
Kris: I love this guy
FiloDan: Batum! Batum!
Kris: 7yes Fran tell us how great this guy is
FiloDan: (sounds like the name of the horse whose head got cut off in Godfather)
Kris: ohyeah, he is great, well why does he suck balls Fran?
Kris: Fun Fact about Batum: "Won MVP of the 2006 Albert Schweitzer Tournament”
Soccer, Will Ferrell, Isaiah….this thing got out of hand in a hurry
josh: in an unrelated issue, brad guzan might sign with aston villa
josh: will ferrell is turning into eddie murphy
Kris: I am telling you Guzan is a fucking beast, he will be our starting Goalie in the next World Cup
FiloDan: what's all this soccer talk doing here?
FiloDan: Who takes Bill Walker?
Kris: I cant understand why Ferrell is dragging John C Reily down with him, he can actually act
Kris: teams that want a guy who cant shoot from 3 point range and likes to fight with his teammates
FiloDan: So, the 2002 Blazers, then.
Kris: Guzan played here at South Carolina and after two years left school and was the 1st pik int he MLS draft but I didnt here people screaming about how soccer players needed to saty in college
FiloDan: DJ White off the bench with Maxiell and Amir Johnson. Nice.
josh: didnt realize he was that big
Kris: dumars ia a fucking GM, that is how you make a team
Kris: did Stu just say dont boo Isaiah, Stu did you see what he has done to our once proud franchise?
FiloDan: I don't even say that guy's name anymore, let alone boo him. Booing is too easy, too pedestrian for what that guy did to us.
FiloDan: I'd rather burn him in effigy
A little final analysis
FiloDan: Best? Blazers and Bulls.
Kris: worst
FiloDan: Worst? Denver.
FiloDan: No draft picks? Dumb.
Kris: I got Blazers and I like the Cavs pic of Hickson
josh: disappointed in the nets
FiloDan: Very good? Pistons. White takes Theo Ratliff's minutes.
Kris: worst, NJ and NY
josh: i like hibbert to ind
FiloDan: I don't like Charlotte's draft, Ajinca and Lopez
josh: is that rodney giddens' brother?
Kris: yeah, well it is Jrodan doing the drafting. That is an awful pick to end this thing. Its been real, it been fun, but it aint been real-fun. Now I must go
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