Live NBA Draft Chat

For the second year in a row we tried a live NBA draft chat. It turned out to be myself, Dan and Josh, and Martin oh so briefly. I could only imagine he had smelly diapers or something to go change, see what you have to look forward to Josh. Without further adieu, here are portions of the chat:

Martin’s brief, yet amusing appearance
Twinkie: What did I miss so far?
josh: they need a post up guy
FiloDan: Everyone except for NO, Utah, Phoenix, and Philly need a PG
Kris: Martina all you missed was us discussing the size od Doris Burks penis
FiloDan: Oh, and Detroit, and maybe Boston. All teams need PGs.
josh: if it wasnt for the upside potential of the families saying something ridiculous I would be utilizing the mute button
Kris: how long before one mother looks at someone and says "who is this crazy white lady?"
josh: is it really unimagineable that beasley was picked in the top 2?
Twinkie: Doris Burke's junk? About 7.5 inches with a slight tilt to the left if I remember correctly
Twinkie: I was stoned on PCP and Miller Lite at the time
Kris: good call, I love PCP

More Doris Burke Inuendos
josh: and she has a great burst like d rose
FiloDan: Her spurtability is off the chart
FiloDan: She can really get up and down the court, if you catch my meaning


The Knicks pick is fast approaching
FiloDan: Bilas: "he wants to be a basketball player" Thanks for that insight, captain
FiloDan: Mayo is awesome. I was hoping he slipped to the Knicks
Kris: by the way, speaking of the Knicks if they draft the foreign dude I may have to due my home closing from a mental health hospital tomorrow
FiloDan: I'm still on record that if they take a Lopez, I quit.

Russell Westbrook goes way to early
Kris: WORST PICK OF ALL FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FiloDan: Wow. That's high for Westbrook.
josh: was mbah a moute not available?
Kris: wow, he stinks
FiloDan: "stinks" is strong. the guy plays good D.
Kris: this is such a bad pick, go Seattle, have fun with all that
Kris: STINKS
FiloDan: Can the Knicks get Bayless, then?
FiloDan: And elaborate on "stinks" then
Kris: he cant play the game good

More of Knicks fans lamenting
josh: frederic mfing weis
Kris: I will buy Grizzlies season tickets if the take Mussolini (Galinari)
FiloDan: How about the trifecta year: John Wallace, Walter McCarty, Dante Jones
Kris: that was the best draft ever
FiloDan: Mussolini had good hang time
FiloDan: Off a lamp post
Kris: rreally we coudl re-hash any Knicks pick since Rod Strickland, that was the last productive NBA guy they selected
josh: john wallace had a good season
FiloDan: David Lee much?
josh: jerrod mustaf
josh: who was the guy from notre dame
josh: monty williams
FiloDan: Ooh, Monty Williams. He blew

You guess what just happened
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
josh: better than lopez
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
FiloDan: I agree with the crowd. Boo
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
Kris: fuck
FiloDan: But, yeah, better than Lopez
Kris: they just mentioned freddy weis
josh: fran fraschilla
Kris: I pine for the days when we draft Channning Frye and Wilson Chandler, fucking a, what the hell is wrong with this team
Kris: someone fucking kill fraschilla

Dan is still angry
FiloDan: I never got the "not a good athelte, but he can play"
FiloDan: Seems like the two are closely related
josh: how can you root against a guy who plays for the armani jeans team
FiloDan: It's easy. Watch.
FiloDan: (not rooting)

Jordan sucks, still
Kris: Charlotte could use Lopez, they need a true big, make Emeker a 4 man which is what he is
FiloDan: That would make a lot of sense for Charlotte.
FiloDan: But Jordan is in charge, so they'll take a guard
Kris: Jordan will clearly draft DeAndre Jordan
FiloDan: (no relation)
FiloDan: I told you Charlotte would take a guard.
FiloDan: My smart is smarter than your smart.


I just realize Martin is gone, nobody else cares
Kris: Jordan is the fucking worst, he really is
Kris: I bet screamin A hasnt seen any of these guys play
FiloDan: Stephen A is annoying, but does like basketball, and knows what he's talking about when he calms down
Kris: What happened to Martin?
josh: tougher and more physican doesnt equal lpez
FiloDan: Mark Jackson, on the other hand, has no idea what he's talking about


Some guy from Rider gets picked, early
FiloDan: "Jason is not here"
Kris: he doesn play very "big"
josh: thats at least the fourth, "not a great athlete"
Kris: in case Jay hasnt noticed the league is all about athletes
josh: reggie theus thinks he still coaching the team on hang time
FiloDan: Theus was a good coach for a rookie
josh: that maac tournament is grueling
FiloDan: They had a bunch of injuries
Kris: "great motor" that is usually reserved for white defensive players in college football


Better than the NFL draft, but stillt he Knicks took some foreign dude
josh: less than 90 min in and already 14 picks, if this was the nfl we'd be at pick 6
Kris: by the way we are getting to random foreign guy time
Kris: Nicolas Batum could go any minute now
Kris: Dick Vitale is actually makign a good point about foreign losers, go get em Dicky V
josh: but he wont go all the way
josh: and say gallinari is a bad pick
josh: he is the king of hedging
josh: who gets stuck with kosta koufos
FiloDan: Chad Ford says Gallinari is an Italian Tony Kukoc

Dan doesn’t like me so much
FiloDan: Speights is a good pick for Philly
FiloDan: They could use a big who has some offensive skills
Kris: he doesnt have offensive skill
Kris: he has super athleticism, and the lognest arms ever
Kris: but Philly drafted the great Thaddeus Young last year, I think you coudl look back last year and I discussed the awfulness of that pick
FiloDan: Are you kidding? Thaddeus Young was fantastic this year.
FiloDan: Did you watch any 76er games?
FiloDan: I just spent the last few minutes looking up Thaddeus Young's numbers on Basketball-Reference.com
FiloDan: His PER was 16.5, in only 21 minute a game. He's good.
Kris: Thaddues Young blows, I can make a stat say anything
FiloDan: You're also wrong most of the time
Kris: good point, but that doesnt stop me from having my opinion
Kris: GO ELI MANNING!!! (pointing out how I was the driver of the Eli bandwagon even though Dan still doesn’t think he is any good)

Things get out of control, but there are some funny lines in here
josh: if you were terry porter would you hire kevin duckworth to tutor shaq
Kris: on what, how to suck
Kris: Shaq has that down in his career
josh: how to play as a fat mess
FiloDan: Terry Porter, tell me how my ass tastes
FiloDan: "JaVale is not here"
josh: where's nick fazekas
FiloDan: What about Douglas-Roberts to Cleveland?
Kris: no
josh: cdr can play
Kris: Douglas Roberts was awful in workouts with effort, skill and conduct/character
josh: agent 0 should go to the cavs
FiloDan: Why not? He can score. No one else on Cleveland besides LBJ can score.
josh: here come the trades
FiloDan: Portland!
josh: jarett jack baby
FiloDan: Jack isn't bad, but he wasn't the answer for them at PG


Just looking ahead to random foreign guy time
Kris: I cannot wait for the second round, I love random guys
FiloDan: Serge Ibaka
FiloDan: "J.J. is not here"
FiloDan: Good times.


MJ is on the clock, god he sucks big time
FiloDan: May and Morrison: busts, or horrific busts?
Kris: horrific busts
Kris: May I dont think anyone thought would be great, Morrison has been hurt but this year he better produce and in a hurry
Kris: Yes
Kris: Foreign guy time!!!!
josh: frederic weis reference coming
FiloDan: At least we weren't the only team to take a foreigner in the first round
josh: is may that bad?
Kris: Fran just said big and long, that is special
josh: tonights buzz word is wing span
Kris: that is a fancy term for length
FiloDan: Weis: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xp6qJ7LZNlg
FiloDan: You know who's got a good wing span? Condors.



Lets go NETS, N-E-T-S, NETS, NETS, NETS
FiloDan: Why not draft two busts in the same draft? Good times for the Nets
josh: is devin harris a true one
josh: who the fuck is ryan anderson
Kris: yeah, he is barely a one
FiloDan: I actually like that pick. I think Anderson is good.
josh: didnt they already draft a tall scrubby white guy
Kris: The Nets blow, they better make a huge run at LEBron
josh: speaking of austin croshere
FiloDan: What's wrong with Croshere? He had some good years in Indiana

Kosta Koufos, what else can I say
FiloDan: They'll love Koufos in Utah. White guys!
Kris: Jay Bilas is gonan go crazy if someone doesnt take Koufos soon
FiloDan: CDR?
FiloDan: Good call, Josh.
Kris: I am telling you, I heard directly from various NBA workouts that nobody likes CDR
josh: the next ostertag
josh: koufos greek?
FiloDan: Family is greek, but Koufos is American.

Everybody do the Congo line
Kris: yes
FiloDan: Unbelievable! Ibaka!
josh: serge is here
Kris: the second Congoneses guy to play in the league baby
FiloDan: Ibaka's agent wanted him to get picked in the second round so he could play in Spain
FiloDan: and not have to deal with the first-round salary restrictions
Kris: well sucks for Ibaka
josh: in 3-4 years he could be a shot blocker, definitely a better pick than arthur

Random Foreign guy time
Kris: I love this guy
FiloDan: Batum! Batum!
Kris: 7yes Fran tell us how great this guy is
FiloDan: (sounds like the name of the horse whose head got cut off in Godfather)
Kris: ohyeah, he is great, well why does he suck balls Fran?
Kris: Fun Fact about Batum: "Won MVP of the 2006 Albert Schweitzer Tournament”

Soccer, Will Ferrell, Isaiah….this thing got out of hand in a hurry
josh: in an unrelated issue, brad guzan might sign with aston villa
josh: will ferrell is turning into eddie murphy
Kris: I am telling you Guzan is a fucking beast, he will be our starting Goalie in the next World Cup
FiloDan: what's all this soccer talk doing here?
FiloDan: Who takes Bill Walker?
Kris: I cant understand why Ferrell is dragging John C Reily down with him, he can actually act
Kris: teams that want a guy who cant shoot from 3 point range and likes to fight with his teammates
FiloDan: So, the 2002 Blazers, then.
Kris: Guzan played here at South Carolina and after two years left school and was the 1st pik int he MLS draft but I didnt here people screaming about how soccer players needed to saty in college
FiloDan: DJ White off the bench with Maxiell and Amir Johnson. Nice.
josh: didnt realize he was that big
Kris: dumars ia a fucking GM, that is how you make a team
Kris: did Stu just say dont boo Isaiah, Stu did you see what he has done to our once proud franchise?
FiloDan: I don't even say that guy's name anymore, let alone boo him. Booing is too easy, too pedestrian for what that guy did to us.
FiloDan: I'd rather burn him in effigy

A little final analysis
FiloDan: Best? Blazers and Bulls.
Kris: worst
FiloDan: Worst? Denver.
FiloDan: No draft picks? Dumb.
Kris: I got Blazers and I like the Cavs pic of Hickson
josh: disappointed in the nets
FiloDan: Very good? Pistons. White takes Theo Ratliff's minutes.
Kris: worst, NJ and NY
josh: i like hibbert to ind
FiloDan: I don't like Charlotte's draft, Ajinca and Lopez
josh: is that rodney giddens' brother?
Kris: yeah, well it is Jrodan doing the drafting. That is an awful pick to end this thing. Its been real, it been fun, but it aint been real-fun. Now I must go